(Northumberland Gazette), EXCERPT from Act I Scene 5: Twankeys Takeaway Alan P Frayn, (Notes on simplified scenery are also included in the script). Oh come to mummy and let me say goodbye properly! "For what?" On the second day, she heard the doorbell. You're coming next week, I just made your reservation. We washed him by mistake. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. In 1870-odd, the first one contained contemporary pop songs rewritten for the purposes of the onstage action. A few days later the doorbell rings. Widow twankey jokes. ", Smee (Tom Swift): "Did you know an apple pie in Jamaica is 3.20, 2.30 in Aruba and 3.76 in the Bahamas? Widow Twankey is a female character in the pantomime Aladdin. But without the genie in the magical lamp, he has no power. [3] Occasionally, the spelling of her name in the programme (but not the pronunciation on the stage) is varied to make it look more like a "Chinese" personal name e.g., "Tuang Kee Chung" in a 1979 musical version. That's it, give me a wave! However Chris Dunham, currently directing Cinderella at the Richmond theatre, believes that "being a traditionalist doesn't mean you're an old fuddy duddy". We're just about still in the pantomime season - oh no you're not, or it's behind you! "So you're single!". As Mother Goose (Ben Roddy) told the audience they were "taking a year off" from the joke, she added: "Someone came up to me and he said: "I want to talk to you about that Sheppey joke" So I said to him: "Well, keep on practising.". Aladdin: Directed by Geoff Posner. Yet another stood up and said, "Infinity" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means more than you can imagine." (Shows his muscles, oohs and aahs.) MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s), One teasingly trailed through the mess on his stomach and presented itself for Corinthian to lick. Here we had the traditional story of 'Aladdin' by Alan P Frayn, but with a very modern twist, making it ideal both for younger and older audiences and extremely well received the evening I attended a stunning pantomime, very professional and so enjoyable!, "The society was using an Alan Frayn script this year which was a great improvement on last years script. Ready? Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group. ), 4 Full Scenes, 2 Front Cloths/Curtain + The Magic Carpet. ", Some notable people who have played Widow Twankey, The Chambers Dictionary (8th edn, 1998) Chambers Harrap Publishers Ltd, Edinburgh, Last edited on 28 February 2023, at 04:54, Learn how and when to remove this template message, "The origin of popular pantomime stories", "Can John Archer come back from the dead? From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English Widow Twankey Widow Twankey / wd twki / an amusing female character in the pantomime (=a humorous play for children) Aladdin. No, theyve probably come to arrest us for wonton behaviour! The Widow Twankey . Tooth-hurty! We'll stall them for a bit. Oh yes they could! Oh my dear Aladdin! The name Twankay appears first in 1861 in a play by Henry James Byron called Aladdin or the Wonderful Scamp, (a parodic name of an earlier opera) which established much of the content and style of the modern pantomime. Power Dynamics. Eh? It's my first Jackie O'Lantern. "Hello boys and girls," bellows Shaun Prendergast at a rehearsal room wall in the Lyric Hammersmith. Normally, of course, by that stage all the jokes have worn a bit thin! Show some respect! Q: Why was Cinderella so bad at football? It's an old gag and though it's corny, it works because it's brazenly so. It's now called You Twitface. Credit: Simon Hadley/Alamy Live News. Ian Magee, who played pantomime dame Widow Twankey, said he was left speechless . "Then, how can you explain the bumps and bruises all over his head?" The Widow Twanky (sometimes spelled Twankey) is not native to the Xenaverse. Hearing that she took the revolver and placed it on the spot and fired. TWANKEY Yes, I call it a sheep dog bra. Yes, yes a poor widow. ", That responsibility is to the audience, particularly those coming to the theatre for the first time. There were jokes galore, audience participation aplenty and a vibrant mix of singing and dancing." Embrace the form and do clever things within it.". In 1813, a comic character of the "dumb slave" was introduced to Aladdin, or the Wonderful Lamp, as a vehicle for the clown, Joseph Grimaldi, and at the same time, a washer-woman, Ching Mustapha was introduced to the play. When he auditioned for Sarah the Cook in Dick Whittington last year, Marmion was so impressed by his string of 30 quickfire one-liners that he co . MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! Panto producers at the Canterbury theatre couldn't resist mentioning their infamous "Sheppey Joke" again this year (along with rousing choruses of "You don't get that in the Dartford panto" and threatening to banish baddie Demon Vanity . The priest nods him on, so the man clears his throat, pauses for a moment, and says, 'Plethora', before sitting back down. Pedro finds love and companionship in the writer/director of an upcoming movie starring him and Oscar. These include Widow Twankey, Mother Goose and the Cook in Dick Whittington. New gags are added. Discover the best widow jokes and stories that will make you laugh out loud. scene 3. Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, Panto patter Aladdin at the Lyric, Hammersmith. A man goes to a funeral. So, though Aladdin goes from looting to Lady Gaga, it is, at base, a traditional panto. She put out an ad for a man that would not beat her, not run away, and could satisfy her sexually. Identify the following terms or individuals and explain their significance: As the air flowed over the___ side of the boat, the sails filled and our speed increased. The widow replied, well I deposited the funds from the estate into my account and buried my dear husband with a check for the total. The last syllable tails off limply. Widow Twankey is also the butt of many jokes as her onstage son, Wishy, describes her just like a McDonald's "cheap and full of fat". In fact, this year virtually all the amateur pantomimes in my NODA district used Frayn scripts., It was great! (pause to reminisce) oh, well never mind, you're here now! Oh my poor boy. My sexy bear stud. He told her he was there to answer her ad, and she asked him why he thought he fit the criteria. He asks the widow if he may say a word. There are also widow puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Graham hoadly as pantomime dame widow twankey watford 2000; Aladdin pc pongo tells widow twankey a joke This lively Widow Twankey Costume is bright cheerful and full of panto cheer. You've got to make them want to almost cuddle into your bosom.". he says. Free Use Kink. Aladdin Pictured l-r: Lee Mead ( Aladdin), Andrew Ryan (Widow Twanky) and Matt Slack ( Wishee Washee). This website and its associated newspaper are members of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Panto producers at the Canterbury theatre, Holby City star Paul Bradley, playing Hook. WWW dot widow wants washing. I didn't know your father had a brother. Pet shop owner: Would you like an aquarium? "A deal is a deal honey, they told me: "until death do us apart"". Rare first impression of the true first edition. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.". However, even in rehearsal, a pantomime needs an audience like a puss needs boots. He can turn you into a prawn cocktail. Dan Leno in the role of Widow Twankey, for an 1896 performance at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane. [1] The laundry was already established as a place for a clown performance on the stage and began to be worked in, notably with Dan Leno as Twankay along with Aladdin's brother Washee-Washee in 1896. The humour wasnt, as it is so often, corny, but was amusing and current. . *A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami. The character is played by a male actor dressed in women's . MUST NOT BEAT ME, All Rights Reserved. He says to his first son "I want you to have all the property in the north of the town, I have 16 houses there." Another person simply held up a sprig of mentha spicata, and the widow said, "Thanks, that's a lovely scent of mint.". "People have dubbed ours an urban, modern, alternative panto, but that's what panto's always been. Dame: Yes, four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse. Photo: PA. Michael Billington @billicritic. One thing led to another and they are starting to undress, but she suddenly stares at him and stops, asking: scene 3. the text went to a widow, which had just attended to her husband funeral. scene 3, Quickly! That means a great deal.". The friends ask how she can afford all of this with the entire estate being buried with her deceased husband? something out of nothing !!!!!! The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it. From Widow Twankey's Viagra pills to Julian Clary's "squirt and wipe" routine in London's West End, this panto year has delivered lots of cheeky gags. "Plethora" And you're family, Mr ab-an-ah-zar! For a. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. Well, what do you think? Dame: My husband fell into a huge vat of granulated coffee and was never seen again. She responded, Hardly worth going home, is it? The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll. Returns to the widow and she hugs him and says, "Thank you, that means a lot. Bursting with comedy and visual business, courtesy of Widow Twankey, Wishee Washee and the two Chinese Policemen (Yu-Dun-Wong and Hu-Dun-Pong), this sensational script provides ample opportunity for audience participation, slapstick mayhem and traditional pantomime fun. The priest asks, why so many, and she replies, "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go. Your current browser may not support copying via this button. "Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. Prendergast, described by director Steve Marmion as "a gag machine-gun," is a self-professed comedy geek and owns a pair of Eric Morecambe's glasses. Skip to forum content. This March we will be publishing thousands of children's drawings in our fantastic My Mum Mother's Day supplement - here's how to get your copy. Discover the best widow jokes and stories that will make you laugh out loud. It was first published in England between 1704 and 1714; and this story was dramatised in 1788 by John O'Keefe for Covent Garden as a harlequinade and included the character of 'Aladdin's Mother' (but unnamed) played by Mrs Davett. is not wearing a red tie to her Crip husband's funeral. Don't you ever do anything like that ever again! TWANKEY Because, theres a flap in the back where he talks from. "I don't think I have ever seen an actor more manifestly delighted to be on stage than Sir Ian McKellen, dolled up to the nines in drag as Widow Twankey in the Old Vic panto." Charles Spencer, The Telegraph. She is Aladdin's mother and she does people's laundry (=washes their clothes) in order to make money. Widow Twankey is a female character in the pantomime Aladdin.The character is a pantomime dame, portrayed by a man; and is a comic foil to the principal boy, Aladdin - played by an actress.. History. Product Description. Panto producers at the Canterbury theatre couldn't resist mentioning their infamous "Sheppey Joke" again this year (along with rousing choruses of "You don't get that in the Dartford panto" and threatening to banish baddie Demon Vanity (Marc Pickering) to panto in Chatham. My breaths coming in short pants. The idiotic Chinese Policemen, typical panto-style comedy twosome. "Well, I have no arms so I will never beat you. Bring light clothes cause the temperature here is hellish. "What do you mean he was spaghettified?" A character named "Widow Twanky" was also portrayed by Michael Hurst (credited as "Edith Sidebottom") in three Hercules: The Legendary Journeys episodes. widow: Is there anything anyone would like to say to the deceased? Abanazar, Ugly Sisters, Genie, Iolaus, Mother Goose, Graham hoadly as pantomime dame widow twankey watford 2000, Aladdin pc pongo tells widow twankey a joke. P.S. TWANKEY Ah, theyre Prue Leiths knickers. Well, I'm Hanky Twankey and this is my twin brother, Hunky Twankey. [1] It was named after a cheap brand of China tea. I hear you cry - so here are some pantomime jokes. Widow Twankey (Christopher Biggins): Chicken Ding? "I can share all my fabulous riches with them" scene 3, "Open in the name of the police!" This very original and funny script provides all the necessary ingredients for a first-class and spectacular production of this famous oriental rags-to-riches tale. plethora." Ever since Sir Ian McKellen gave the world his Widow Twankey in the 2004 Old Vic production of Aladdin, a slew of famous faces have been gracing the festive boards and honing those old chestnuts to make them as up-to-date as possible. HUNKY: That's better. As pantos across the county get into full swing, we bring you a few of their gags this year - and not all of them are aimed at the Isle of Sheppey. Q: Why does Dick Whittington have a beard? So-Shy, make him an appointment at the Chinese dentist. ", Smee (Tom Swift): "Did you know an apple pie in Jamaica is 3.20, 2.30 in Aruba and 3.76 in the Bahamas? Then promptly sits down. "If you ever want to see Aladdin again, we need to rescue him!" Copy this link, or click below to email it to a friend. Widow Twankey (originally Twankay, sometimes Twanky) is a female character in the pantomime Aladdin. Merry Christmas from Hollywood! The story of Aladdin was first performed in Covent Garden, London, in 1788. Four richer, four better, four poorer, four richer, worse! Stories that will make you laugh out loud this famous oriental rags-to-riches.. Why he thought he fit the criteria while cooking meals and I the... It on the spot and fired, panto patter Aladdin at the Chinese dentist love and in. 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